I was looking through one of my photo boxes today where my postcard collection is stored and I found 2 poems I wrote 10 gazillion years ago!! They are in French, but they rime!!!
This one starts off really sad (I must have been in some dark phase or something) but ended hopeful:
Je me réveille de bon matin
Et je veux déjà être au lendemain
Ma vie n'a point de sens
Elle n'a certes aucune importance
Tout me semble futile
Et je me sens inutile
Je voudrais reprendre le début
Avec en tête au moins un but, un rêve
Quelque chose qui quand je me lève
Me donne l'envie de savourer chaque instant, chaque moment.
Ma vie telle qu'elle est me donne l'envie de crier
"Il te faut t'arrêter,
Prendre le temps de respirer!"
Je veux metrre une bonne fin
A ces pensées noires qui peuplent mes matins
Après une longue réflexion
Les choses ne sont pas si mal
Avec de l'imagination
Peu de choses sont banales
Alors il me faut trouver cette imagination qui doit bien exister
Quelque part dans cette tête qui n'est pourtant pas bête.
The second poem I found is titled 'Le Soleil' which translate to 'The Sun'.
I must have been in a good mood and just contemplating the sun!
Chaque matin, il nous accueille
Pour adoucir notre réveil
Il nous regarde à travers les feuilles
Et toute la journée nous surveille
Il n'est pas que chaleur
Sa présence respire le bonheur
Il efface tous les malheurs
Et nous met du baume au coeur
Il nous donne l'envie de danser
De tout oublier et de fêter
Dommâge qu'il nous faut nous séparer
Chaque soir avant de se coucher
Mais le matin le ramène toujours
Pour souhaiter la bienvenue au nouveau jour (Pour éclairer le nouveau jour/Pour remplir de lumière le nouveau jour)
I amaze myself!!! :)
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Dancing through life
Since I do not have the time to write new posts here and I do have to make the time to write my speeches for Toastmasters, I decided that I will post my speeches here, with minor edits!
This was my 3rd speech, focusing on 'getting to the point', with a broad purpose and a more specific one, titled 'Dancing through life'.
This was my 3rd speech, focusing on 'getting to the point', with a broad purpose and a more specific one, titled 'Dancing through life'.
I used to dance for money. Shocking!
Toastmasters and honored guests, it’s not what you think.
My
mom put me in Chinese folkoric dance classes when I was 5. From that young age,
I performed every year at the annual dance show, the televised Spring Festival
show, the Chinatown festival show....anything related to Chinese community in
Mauritius. Then, in my teenage years, I started performing at hotels on a weekly
basis for pocket money. Mauritius being a multicultural country, hotels aim to
showcase the diversity every night with a different cultural show. The Chinese
show was on every Friday or Saturday night and I did that for about 5 years.
What have 5 years of dancing for money taught me? Well, believe it or not, it
has taught me a few ways on how to cope with real life situations. Let me give
you 3 examples.
Performing the same routine every week does not mean you
have a flawless performance each time. In fact, you rely so much on muscle
memory and habit, that you allow your mind to drift away during the dance.
Countless times, I have missed a step or let go of my prop which resulted in me
seemingly doing my own thing on stage. Here comes lesson #1: if you do not know
where you are going or you have forgotten the next step, move in the general
direction everybody is going. Even if
you are not doing the same pirouette as others, the audience might not notice a
mistake if you are moving with the pack. In life as in a performance, we need
to know where to go, or anticipate the next move. Sometimes you feel out of
sync with other people or sometimes you feel like you are behind as compared to
others. The important thing to remember, is that it is okay to lag behind, as
long as you catch up with others, preferably before the end of the dance. It is
that much easier to fall back into the dance if you are already moving in the
right direction.
What happens if you cannot mask your blunder and you are
mortified with embarrassment? Lesson number 2 is to smile and keep moving.
Nobody will notice your mistake if they are too busy looking at your smile. A
professional dancer smiles even if she misses a step, it is the dancer’s ultimate
poker face. When a dancer makes a mistake, she has to fight her own panic-stricken
thoughts, quickly think of the next move, and force her body to move faster to
catch up while smiling brilliantly. Sometimes in life, we are
caught off-guard and we let our emotions show in that moment of complete panic.
I have learned to put a smile on even when I’m feeling lost and I’m put on the
spot. I’m not saying that you have to cover up every emotion with a smile, but
it does help to be able to ride over some difficult news with a smile while
your brain is still processing them.
Which brings us to the 3rd thing I’ve learned. So
what if you were not where you were supposed to be and you end up doing a solo
piece involuntarily? Or you have a wardrobe malfunction that embarrasses you so
much you think it is the end of the world? Well, it’s not. I once ripped my
pants while doing a split during a performance. Crack! just when the music
paused! My fellow dancers heard it and were fighting a fit of laughter. I was
livid and I thought of rushing off the stage in shame. But true to my training
and experience, I kept smiling and finished the dance while trying not to lift
my leg too high. It would have been easy for me to hash things over and over
and to be afraid of ever donning that costume again. But the following week,
the audience had changed, my fellow dancers forgot about it and nobody who
cared for me cared that I made a fool of myself. The lesson: the dance will
end, the audience will change and you will get another chance to prove yourself
as a dancer.
You know the saying ‘dance like no one is watching’? Well
that is complete absurdity! Dance like you know SOMEONE is watching. Because in
the performance called Life, someone IS always watching. Do not worry though,
you now have 3 coping mechanisms to help you: 1, if you do not know where to
go, move with the flow until you figure out the next step. 2, smile while
dancing it makes all the difference especially if you make a mistake and 3,
even if something goes wrong, tomorrow is another day, another audience. If none of this works for
you, just remember that no performance is ever complete without a beautiful
reverence at the end. That is your opportunity to dazzle and leave a lasting
impression with your audience.
*make a little reverence*
Saturday, March 09, 2013
The ballet dancer on the pole
Yesterday, I went to my first pole dancing class.
It was all part of a coupon I found online, 5 classes for $25.
I convinced a friend of mine to come with me.
We both did not know what to expect. I have heard though that it is a good workout.
The other women there made up an eclectic body. A couple of younger girls with very long hair (aren't they afraid their hair would get entangled around that pole?) and quite a few middle-aged women who looked like they were there to revitalize their marriage or something.
The class started with cleaning the poles! Yes, imagine whatever number of women who have touched, grabbed, hooked their limbs around that same pole you are holding on to!
Then came 10 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of abs work!
Those. Were. Gruelling. Exercises.
We then moved on to some 'sexy' hip exercises.
The thing is, I've been a dancer since I was 5yrs old, I know my body and how to move it and yes, I can make my hips move this way, but I did not learn how to flip my hair while doing so! The most embarrassing moments were when the instructor was yelling at us to look sexy, while 'working' it as if she's a professional! She yelled at us to slap our butts, and after a delayed reaction, we all did and then started laughing.
How do you learn sexy?
Well this instructor seemed to think that if she yells at us hard enough, we'll magically know how to be sexy! Of course, every time she yelled, I'd end up laughing. The whole thing seemed ridiculous at the time! How do I release my neck and flick my hair at the pole (without banging my forehead on it!) when all I've learned so far have been to hold my head up high and hold my position? Quite a challenge!
My arms hurt today and I have bruises on my knees where I've landed quite a few times.
Those abs exercises also made it hard to laugh today.
Let's see what week 2 will have in store for us.
It was all part of a coupon I found online, 5 classes for $25.
I convinced a friend of mine to come with me.
We both did not know what to expect. I have heard though that it is a good workout.
The other women there made up an eclectic body. A couple of younger girls with very long hair (aren't they afraid their hair would get entangled around that pole?) and quite a few middle-aged women who looked like they were there to revitalize their marriage or something.
The class started with cleaning the poles! Yes, imagine whatever number of women who have touched, grabbed, hooked their limbs around that same pole you are holding on to!
Then came 10 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of abs work!
Those. Were. Gruelling. Exercises.
We then moved on to some 'sexy' hip exercises.
The thing is, I've been a dancer since I was 5yrs old, I know my body and how to move it and yes, I can make my hips move this way, but I did not learn how to flip my hair while doing so! The most embarrassing moments were when the instructor was yelling at us to look sexy, while 'working' it as if she's a professional! She yelled at us to slap our butts, and after a delayed reaction, we all did and then started laughing.
How do you learn sexy?
Well this instructor seemed to think that if she yells at us hard enough, we'll magically know how to be sexy! Of course, every time she yelled, I'd end up laughing. The whole thing seemed ridiculous at the time! How do I release my neck and flick my hair at the pole (without banging my forehead on it!) when all I've learned so far have been to hold my head up high and hold my position? Quite a challenge!
My arms hurt today and I have bruises on my knees where I've landed quite a few times.
Those abs exercises also made it hard to laugh today.
Let's see what week 2 will have in store for us.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
The magic of penpals
"Pen pals"....most people would not even know what that means today.
Who even have pen pals these days?
Believe it or not, I had a couple of pen pals throughout my teenage years. They were in France if I remember correctly. I do not remember their names, let alone remember what they look like or what we used to write about. I am fairly sure there is an envelope back in my room in Mauritius with all the correspondence throughout the years.
I remember one of them was in Menton. She sent me beautiful postcards of the festivals there. In 2003 when I visited Monaco, we went through Menton and I fleetingly thought about her.
I had lost track of her, so there was no way I could find her, but it was a good feeling to be in a place where I know someone, I have shared bits and pieces of my life with, was currently living.
What got me so hooked for all these years?
Try sharing your life, what is weighing you down, or what makes you jubilant, with someone miles and miles away. Someone so far removed that you know even if they judge you, it would not affect you. More often than not though, it was an exchange of petty incidents who made you happy or sad at the time, but then you forgot about it until a letter comes in the mail a couple of months later reminding you of the incident! It also showed, that what might seem so overwhelming at one time, may have absolutely no importance in a couple of months!
What brought back the memory of my pen pals today?
I recently watched an episode of the Jeff Probst show about a college student starting a movement to have more hand-written letters around the world. I thought of doing it too, but I do not really have time for it. Maybe the next time I'm feeling low, I will try it so it may make me think of how blessed I am, and get me on a more positive mood.
Who even have pen pals these days?
Believe it or not, I had a couple of pen pals throughout my teenage years. They were in France if I remember correctly. I do not remember their names, let alone remember what they look like or what we used to write about. I am fairly sure there is an envelope back in my room in Mauritius with all the correspondence throughout the years.
I remember one of them was in Menton. She sent me beautiful postcards of the festivals there. In 2003 when I visited Monaco, we went through Menton and I fleetingly thought about her.
I had lost track of her, so there was no way I could find her, but it was a good feeling to be in a place where I know someone, I have shared bits and pieces of my life with, was currently living.
What got me so hooked for all these years?
Try sharing your life, what is weighing you down, or what makes you jubilant, with someone miles and miles away. Someone so far removed that you know even if they judge you, it would not affect you. More often than not though, it was an exchange of petty incidents who made you happy or sad at the time, but then you forgot about it until a letter comes in the mail a couple of months later reminding you of the incident! It also showed, that what might seem so overwhelming at one time, may have absolutely no importance in a couple of months!
What brought back the memory of my pen pals today?
I recently watched an episode of the Jeff Probst show about a college student starting a movement to have more hand-written letters around the world. I thought of doing it too, but I do not really have time for it. Maybe the next time I'm feeling low, I will try it so it may make me think of how blessed I am, and get me on a more positive mood.
Monday, February 11, 2013
The Icebreaker
On January 31st, I delivered my first speech for Toastmasters.
In TM lingo, that's CC-1. CC is not for my initials, but for Competent Communicator. There are 10 projects for the Competent Communicator path and I hope to do all 10 projects within the year.
CC-1 was fairly easy to write, you are supposed to write about yourself, give your club a way to know you better. The goal of the project is to get you up there in front of everybody for 4-6 minutes. I believe that I talked for a little bit more than 5 minutes. I learned it by heart, but I fumbled once and I forgot where I was in the speech once, so I had to go back to my notes. I had no qualms about my writing ability. I did have my doubts about the delivery.
The feedback I have received was good. Everybody thought it was well organized and I delivered it well, with voice inflections, peppered with laughter, smiles and eye contact. As I was wrapping up the speech though, I could feel my body relax and my voice changed, gained more confidence. As I go along my Toastmasters path, I hope to get to that level of confidence at the start of my speeches, not as I am wrapping up, with end in sight!
Below is my speech:
THE UNIQUENESS OF 1.3 MILLION
"If I were to ask someone on the street to guess where I come from, they would probably be wrong.
If I were to give that person a second chance, they would probably still be wrong.
Toastmasters and guests, je m'appelle Carine and I am African.
I was born and raised in Mauritius, a tiny island off the coast of Africa.
When I say tiny, I really mean tiny!
In my early years here, when asked by people where my accent is from, and I would get a blank stare in return, I would draw an imaginary world map.
*Draw in the air*
Africa. Australia.
And someone in between these 2 continents, in the middle of the Indian Ocean, there should be a dot marking Mauritius. That is, if you are lucky.
Some maps do not even have the dot representing Mauritius.
Some have the dot, but not the label, so people could mistake it for a fleck of dust.
The Mauritian population is made up of mostly Indian, then African, European and Chinese descendants. The culture is diverse, as everybody has brought a little bit of their countries with them.
The history is rife with battles between the French and the British, fierce enemies at the time, both trying to conquer as much land as possible.
Though the Brits were the last to own the country before it was declared independent in 1968, the French colonists were more successful in establishing the language, building roads and naming places. So when they left, tail between legs, the Brits imposed English as the official language and implemented their educational system. But they were not able to kick the french out of the people.
This is how we became bilingual, English and French and to add to the insult, we made up our own third language, creole, closer to french than english.
The French and the British both brought African slaves with them to be domestics and work in the sugar cane plantations. When slavery was abolished, the African slaves were freed and the British brought in indentured labourers from India and encouraged traders from China to come and settle in Mauritius with promises of land and wealth.
My ancestors were among those brave ones taking a leap of faith, leaving China for a faraway island.
In essence, that is what I did some 13 years ago when I came to Canada. Except I didn't come on a ship, but on a British Airways flight. And I didn't come with promises of wealth and land, but with the promise of an education.
The dilemma that I often face today is when I have to fill out my ethnicity on forms.
How do you categorize a french speaking African of Chinese descent?
Of course, physically, I should check the box for Chinese.
But I do not speak the language, nor do I understand the intricacies of the culture!
Should I check the box for French?
But I have never lived in France, nor do I have the innate taste for wine or cheese.
Should I check the box for African?
Look at me! I do not look remotely like a typical African.
So more often than not, I would end up choose 'Other' or 'Prefer not to answer'.
Please do not pity me though, it is not as if I am ashamed of where I come from.
Mark Twain and Charles Darwin both referred to Mauritius as heaven on earth.
In fact, Mark Twain said 'God created Mauritius first and then paradise was copied after it'.
So when I'm asked where I come from, although I may not say that I come from the great White North, it is more interesting for me to say 'from paradise on earth'.
After all, there are only 1.3 million of us who may say that in the world."
In TM lingo, that's CC-1. CC is not for my initials, but for Competent Communicator. There are 10 projects for the Competent Communicator path and I hope to do all 10 projects within the year.
CC-1 was fairly easy to write, you are supposed to write about yourself, give your club a way to know you better. The goal of the project is to get you up there in front of everybody for 4-6 minutes. I believe that I talked for a little bit more than 5 minutes. I learned it by heart, but I fumbled once and I forgot where I was in the speech once, so I had to go back to my notes. I had no qualms about my writing ability. I did have my doubts about the delivery.
The feedback I have received was good. Everybody thought it was well organized and I delivered it well, with voice inflections, peppered with laughter, smiles and eye contact. As I was wrapping up the speech though, I could feel my body relax and my voice changed, gained more confidence. As I go along my Toastmasters path, I hope to get to that level of confidence at the start of my speeches, not as I am wrapping up, with end in sight!
Below is my speech:
THE UNIQUENESS OF 1.3 MILLION
"If I were to ask someone on the street to guess where I come from, they would probably be wrong.
If I were to give that person a second chance, they would probably still be wrong.
Toastmasters and guests, je m'appelle Carine and I am African.
I was born and raised in Mauritius, a tiny island off the coast of Africa.
When I say tiny, I really mean tiny!
In my early years here, when asked by people where my accent is from, and I would get a blank stare in return, I would draw an imaginary world map.
*Draw in the air*
Africa. Australia.
And someone in between these 2 continents, in the middle of the Indian Ocean, there should be a dot marking Mauritius. That is, if you are lucky.
Some maps do not even have the dot representing Mauritius.
Some have the dot, but not the label, so people could mistake it for a fleck of dust.
The Mauritian population is made up of mostly Indian, then African, European and Chinese descendants. The culture is diverse, as everybody has brought a little bit of their countries with them.
The history is rife with battles between the French and the British, fierce enemies at the time, both trying to conquer as much land as possible.
Though the Brits were the last to own the country before it was declared independent in 1968, the French colonists were more successful in establishing the language, building roads and naming places. So when they left, tail between legs, the Brits imposed English as the official language and implemented their educational system. But they were not able to kick the french out of the people.
This is how we became bilingual, English and French and to add to the insult, we made up our own third language, creole, closer to french than english.
The French and the British both brought African slaves with them to be domestics and work in the sugar cane plantations. When slavery was abolished, the African slaves were freed and the British brought in indentured labourers from India and encouraged traders from China to come and settle in Mauritius with promises of land and wealth.
My ancestors were among those brave ones taking a leap of faith, leaving China for a faraway island.
In essence, that is what I did some 13 years ago when I came to Canada. Except I didn't come on a ship, but on a British Airways flight. And I didn't come with promises of wealth and land, but with the promise of an education.
The dilemma that I often face today is when I have to fill out my ethnicity on forms.
How do you categorize a french speaking African of Chinese descent?
Of course, physically, I should check the box for Chinese.
But I do not speak the language, nor do I understand the intricacies of the culture!
Should I check the box for French?
But I have never lived in France, nor do I have the innate taste for wine or cheese.
Should I check the box for African?
Look at me! I do not look remotely like a typical African.
So more often than not, I would end up choose 'Other' or 'Prefer not to answer'.
Please do not pity me though, it is not as if I am ashamed of where I come from.
Mark Twain and Charles Darwin both referred to Mauritius as heaven on earth.
In fact, Mark Twain said 'God created Mauritius first and then paradise was copied after it'.
So when I'm asked where I come from, although I may not say that I come from the great White North, it is more interesting for me to say 'from paradise on earth'.
After all, there are only 1.3 million of us who may say that in the world."
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Resolutions...or not.
Mid-way through January. The statistics say that some people have already failed at keeping their 2013 resolutions.
What is it about a new year that calls for resolutions?
Why are New Year resolutions such a big deal, year after year? Is it because of the high failure rate?
Why don't resolutions taken randomly, any time during the year, have the same impact as publicly stating at the start of a new year what you intend to do for that particular year? Why do people assume that most people would have a resolution for 2013?
I thought about it while watching TV the first few days of 2013.
The word 'resolution' means 'a firm decision to do or not to do something'.
Well then, I can make a firm decision right now, I do not need to wait till the next year to make one, do I ?
In fact, most of my life-changing decisions came out of the blue, triggered by some petty thought or action, or motivated by seeing someone succeeding at something I would try my hand at.
My resolution to start running came to me sometime in May of 2010, triggered by a random email from York Alumni office. I signed up for a 5k, then I stuck to running throughout the year, wavering at times, but coming back to it without having to wait for the start of another year.
I picked up crocheting around September last year just because a friend was available to teach me. The offer was always there, I just had to act on it and the resolution came to fruition as easily as going to Walmart and buying some yarn and a needle.
The resolution to join Toastmasters came up last October, sometime after running the half marathon and while looking for some other ways to improve myself.
Some time last November, I decided that I need to know more about world and local news, so I made the on-spot resolution to watch the 11pm news (almost) every day. To help myself with that one, I found the neat timer function on my TV which switches the TV on at 11pm every night for 1 hour, on the news channel of my choice.
I am not saying that crocheting or watching the news daily are life-changing, but resolutions, as easy as they come and go, and as hard as they may seem, just needs one little step to get you going and it does not have to be the start of a new year. I understand the whole 'the year is coming to an end, a brand new slate is given to you for the next year' and the motivation behind starting something new with the start of a new year, but I couldn't find a good one this year, so I did not stress about it. I am sure to pick up a few resolutions along the way.
Bring it on 2013!
What is it about a new year that calls for resolutions?
Why are New Year resolutions such a big deal, year after year? Is it because of the high failure rate?
Why don't resolutions taken randomly, any time during the year, have the same impact as publicly stating at the start of a new year what you intend to do for that particular year? Why do people assume that most people would have a resolution for 2013?
I thought about it while watching TV the first few days of 2013.
The word 'resolution' means 'a firm decision to do or not to do something'.
Well then, I can make a firm decision right now, I do not need to wait till the next year to make one, do I ?
In fact, most of my life-changing decisions came out of the blue, triggered by some petty thought or action, or motivated by seeing someone succeeding at something I would try my hand at.
My resolution to start running came to me sometime in May of 2010, triggered by a random email from York Alumni office. I signed up for a 5k, then I stuck to running throughout the year, wavering at times, but coming back to it without having to wait for the start of another year.
I picked up crocheting around September last year just because a friend was available to teach me. The offer was always there, I just had to act on it and the resolution came to fruition as easily as going to Walmart and buying some yarn and a needle.
The resolution to join Toastmasters came up last October, sometime after running the half marathon and while looking for some other ways to improve myself.
Some time last November, I decided that I need to know more about world and local news, so I made the on-spot resolution to watch the 11pm news (almost) every day. To help myself with that one, I found the neat timer function on my TV which switches the TV on at 11pm every night for 1 hour, on the news channel of my choice.
I am not saying that crocheting or watching the news daily are life-changing, but resolutions, as easy as they come and go, and as hard as they may seem, just needs one little step to get you going and it does not have to be the start of a new year. I understand the whole 'the year is coming to an end, a brand new slate is given to you for the next year' and the motivation behind starting something new with the start of a new year, but I couldn't find a good one this year, so I did not stress about it. I am sure to pick up a few resolutions along the way.
Bring it on 2013!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Christmas is in the air!
Yes, my Christmas tree is up!This year's tree purchase was a spur of the moment thing as well. I just happened to have a car for that day and brought my cousin to Wal-mart for a shopping spree. She wanted a Christmas tree and this one was such a steal. I had to buy one as well, along with the lights, a tree skirt and some decorations. I already had quite a few decorations which I have bought previous years in anticipation of when I will own a tree. All this turned out well, my tree looks decorated enough, does it not? Maybe the only thing missing is a bright star at the top.
In my high school years, when school was out in November and we would spend summer just doing nothing at home all day, setting up the tree would be first order of business as soon as we hit December. Have I had the choice, I probably would have waited till December so as not to seem to eager for Christmas to come. Unfortunately, obligations trumped tradition this year. I am going to be quite busy the next few week-ends ahead, so last week-end was my only chance lest I ended up not putting the tree even though I bought one this year!
Thanks to my BFF Joan, my place has an air of Christmas already!
Now to find presents to put under the tree!
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