Saturday, July 14, 2012

The paradox of a solitary social butterfly

Most people would agree that I am not a recluse.
Most would even agree that I am a social butterfly. That is, if they only see me when I'm "on".
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is an "off" button on my social butterfly!
It is not hard to believe when you consider my age and my status. I am single mostly because I would not settle on any company and although I get along pretty well with most people, I have found that extended time spent with people I like can also prove to be tedious.

I have had a few examples over the last few months and to be considerate to those people, whom I love and with whom I enjoy spending time with, I would not give too many details here. But in summary, the reason I can prove to be such a good social butterfly is because I spend time being alone.

I love being alone and doing my own stuff and having no other schedule to follow but my own. I love spending time with others too but on my own terms. I have found that having people in my personal space is the hardest. Not that I don't like to host, I just expect them not to overstay their welcome. Particularly after a long day, I would cringe not to say 'I think I'm done with your company now you can leave' respectfully. The second hardest is to be in someone else's space. You feel like an alien among things that are familiar to your host(s). You try to put things back where you found them and try not to disturb their routine as much as you can.

The easiest to be around other people is on vacation, then it is neutral ground where everybody is discovering the same environment at the same time. BUT it all depends on who your travel companions are. Trips with friends could turn out deadly for your friendship! Trips with my parents always have a story of my dad and I getting into a big argument over some petty thing or other. Almost always, the haven of my 1 bedroom condo is welcome after. Or even just a couple of hours by myself.

Mostly I have found that being alone for some time always makes me a better person in society. Being lonesome enables me to be the sunshine that some people know me for. So excuse me if I need some 'me' time now, but I'll be a delight when I come back! :)