Tuesday, June 07, 2011

The thrill of a new connection

As humans, we make connections with each other daily.
Each conversation is used to strengthen an acquaintance into a friendship, build up ties with someone else, share experiences and learn more about each other. The accumulation of all interactions is what makes up a relationship between two people. My relationship with the people around me is subject to endless scrutiny and re-assessment by none other than myself. It would surprise me if it was not the same for others.

Although I do not have any difficulty striking up a conversation with someone I have met before and hence make connections quite easily after my initial awkwardness and shyness are gone, there's nothing like the thrill of suddenly finding myself deeply connected with someone else. Sometimes it is someone new, someone I was meant to connect with, someone who is my new BFF within a few weeks, if not days. Sometimes it is someone I have known for a long time, someone I have not spent much time with, but a series of events brings us together, within a short period of time and I discover the person anew. In either case, I can't help a feeling of elation when I make such a connection (or when the realization of it hits me!).

This is one of the things that carry me through life. The fact that I can make friends, and that these connections are priceless. Nothing like the feeling that someone else can finish your sentences, or understand your feelings without having to voice them out, or making jokes in sync with someone else. Ideally, that is what you would want in a mate. This would be everybody's quest in life: to find a mate with whom they connect so deeply and utterly that time spent together is never a burden even if life is not all smiles.

It is true that I'm almost thirty and still single. It is true that I'm picky. I own it.
I get such a thrill out of making new connections because it proves me right, it gives me hope. If I can feel warm and fuzzy about finding friendship when I wasn't expecting it, how much better would it be to make a connection with someone I'd be attracted to? And if that does not happen, then that is okay because nothing less would be acceptable on a daily basis. Somehow having witnessed these kind of connections personally  is what made me this 'picky'. Have I not experienced the dramatic impact a few days could make on a relationship or a few select moments, it would have been easier to settle for the next guy knocking on my door. In retrospective, nothing at the beginning of any of these fantastic friendships gave any indication of the endless source of laughter and shared joys awaiting - awesomeness pure and simple. So who knows, an acquaintance today could be my next BFF, or that stranger walking down the other side of the street could be a newly discovered soul mate within a few months. The possibilities are endless if the mind is open to anything, my heart open to new connections....<3

Some people believe in 'sparks' and use the lack of it as an excuse to not follow up on a first date. I admit that I have done that too. History (my own, not the world's) has proven me wrong a few times, I have changed my mind about some people as I spent more time with them...I have felt connected with some people more as the days go by, without the presence of a 'spark' at the first, second or even third meeting. Some people just 'grow' on you, so people dazzle you from the start....In either case, no connection can be forced, no matter how much effort is put into it by one or both of the parties. That is what makes it all the more sweeter when it happens...a gift to savour and be grateful for every single day!