Thursday, March 03, 2011

I have done a really bad job of updating this blog.
I guess my new year resolution (2 months later!) would be to write at least once a month!

I shall not stir the past and go over past events, so today's topic would be on something that has been in my mind lately.
Two weeks ago, I met a guy over lunch. I've met him online, he seemed nice, so I agreed to go for lunch. Nothing fancy, just the foodcourt close to our workplaces. He was polite, a little bit quiet, but he didn't show any sign of being a jerk. I had to keep the conversation flowing since he seems to have no inclination to do so. That is fine because people who know me, know that I can. Funny though that as soon as he mentioned he still lives at home, I lost interest.

He is 28, has a university degree, has a job at a bank, seems healthy, so there's obviously nothing to prevent him from leaving the nest...I have lived by myself for 3 years now. Nothing like it to make you grow into an adult, to take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life. The laundry not done? Your fault. Nothing to eat in the fridge? Your own fault. No mom or dad to remind you to do the groceries, pay the bills, or to ask you to do anything for that matter. I'm not saying that people who live with their parents cannot do that, it's just not a proven fact that they can.

Now, if I was still in Mauritius, it would have been different. The culture there is such that people do not leave the family home until they get married. If I didn't come to Canada to study and then stay, I would probably still be living with my parents and there would have been nothing wrong with that. A lot of young people actually get married and stay with their parents. That's totally acceptable. Meeting a single guy in Mauritius who is well into adulthood and still living at home is not exactly out of the norm. There.

Here though, the culture is different, so the expectations are different. Teenagers leave the family home as early as sixteen. Not everybody does it, but it is common that when you get your first job (or second, or third, in fact, whenever you've decided you are financially secure) you can and will move out. Especially if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or childhood friends who would move in with you.

So the 'grown-up' me is in conflict with the woman who would have been in the same position as this guy in an alternate universe where I didn't leave home and come here. Some of my friends say I should not dismiss him just on that fact...some say I'm totally right. I see both sides of the argument, I don't think he's totally incapable of taking care of himself, but part of me thinks that the guy is somewhat not ready to grow up or he would have moved out. There's nothing wrong with that, some people take longer than others. However I am NOT ready to take someone by the hand at this point or wait for him to grow up. I'm 3 years ahead in that game. Sorry dude.

Next.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Please go on more dates. I like to be entertained when I come home from work and can red your blog. :P