As I approach my 30th birthday, I have been reflecting or has been queried about my goals in life. For a woman, the big 3-0 is daunting, especially if you are single and seemingly not going anywhere in life. As far as I can remember, I have thought that my 'vocation' in life was to be a mom. I have the maternal instinct, I love kids and I have what it takes to raise kids well I believe. Surely then, that would be plan A in the grand scheme of my life. To find someone to make babies with and raise them to be outstanding human beings.
Since this plan is not quite going as it should, what then am I doing with my life?
Am I living plan B waiting for plan A to happen? What if plan A never happens? Would my life be a failure then?
I am currently on a road trip with one of my best friends and we have brought up a lot of these 'life and relationships' topics up. So what comes out of it is: if plan A would make me absolutely happy, should I then settle for the first available man who comes my way? That would definitely enable execution of plan A. Would it mean that I would be happier than my current plan B execution? Surely in some ways it would be. Are there any other options than these 2?
Once plan A is engaged though, there is no turning back. It is that leap of faith that has been holding me back. It would be fairly easy to find someone who also wants a family and have an agreement that because that's what we both want, we will make it work. And God knows how many couples have found success in this scheme.
If there was a book of life plans, then I wish I could query it to know when to switch back to plan A.
It seems however that it all comes down to how much I want plan A to happen and shall I then make a decision to make it happen to keep on the same path till time to depart this life. Unless of course a plan C presents itself.
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