The paradox of a solitary social butterfly

Most people would agree that I am not a recluse.
Most would even agree that I am a social butterfly. That is, if they only see me when I'm "on".
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is an "off" button on my social butterfly!
It is not hard to believe when you consider my age and my status. I am single mostly because I would not settle on any company and although I get along pretty well with most people, I have found that extended time spent with people I like can also prove to be tedious.

I have had a few examples over the last few months and to be considerate to those people, whom I love and with whom I enjoy spending time with, I would not give too many details here. But in summary, the reason I can prove to be such a good social butterfly is because I spend time being alone.

I love being alone and doing my own stuff and having no other schedule to follow but my own. I love spending time with others too but on my own terms. I have found that having people in my personal space is the hardest. Not that I don't like to host, I just expect them not to overstay their welcome. Particularly after a long day, I would cringe not to say 'I think I'm done with your company now you can leave' respectfully. The second hardest is to be in someone else's space. You feel like an alien among things that are familiar to your host(s). You try to put things back where you found them and try not to disturb their routine as much as you can.

The easiest to be around other people is on vacation, then it is neutral ground where everybody is discovering the same environment at the same time. BUT it all depends on who your travel companions are. Trips with friends could turn out deadly for your friendship! Trips with my parents always have a story of my dad and I getting into a big argument over some petty thing or other. Almost always, the haven of my 1 bedroom condo is welcome after. Or even just a couple of hours by myself.

Mostly I have found that being alone for some time always makes me a better person in society. Being lonesome enables me to be the sunshine that some people know me for. So excuse me if I need some 'me' time now, but I'll be a delight when I come back! :)

The art of of living alone

This is a response to my friend SimpleGirl's blog post (The sad thing about having a flatmate - Oct 31, 2011)

I have now lived alone for 4 years. Moved 2 times, once out of my uncle's place and the other time to move into my first condo which I am now selling. So guess what, I'll be moving out again soon! Did I ever consider getting a flatmate ? Yes but I thought better of it. 

It's true that living alone is not for everybody. 

You need to:

1. Not die in your sleep, there's nobody to raise the alarm and notify relatives/friends
2. Be able to enjoy the sound of your own voice talking to yourself and laugh about it
3. Be able to trust that the cake you just baked is good without any feedback 
4. Be able to deal with the silence
   
5. Have enough self confidence to step out of the house without asking anybody else's opinion (unless you take a pic of yourself and send it out for approval which I have done before!!!)
   
6. Not mind eating alone most days
7. Be able to clean up after yourself, there's nobody else you can blame for the mess
8. Replace the toilet paper roll yourself
9. Be able to manage your own moodiness, nobody to vent to at home or share ice cream with when PMSing 
10. Expect to find the things you put in a spot to be at EXACTLY the same spot until you move it
11. Never be bored by yourself 

Now I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice to get home and have a 'lovely' flatmate making dinner for both of you or to have someone to have a laugh with. But that's what the Internet is for :). Anytime I need to talk to someone, I am lucky enough to have a worldwide pool of friends (ensuring every time zone is covered!) from which to pick my victim. A flatmate could certainly add some humanity to your house just as long as you do not mind sharing your space with someone else. Someone who would bring their quirks and habits to your space.
My concern is cleanliness. I'm borderline Monica from Friends so yeah, a flatmate would probably drive me nuts especially knowing that I have the option of not having one. 

This is a pic of my place set up for showings.

Would I have been able to keep it as spotless with a flatmate? Unlikely. 

Yes I like living alone, do I sound like a spinster yet? :P