Emotionally intelligent!

TD offers this course named Emotional Intelligence for Leadership Excellence and I had to take it last Tuesday.

The course was based on office interactions and it forced some self analysis.

Yes, we all know that we let our emotions take over and that we do not always think before we speak.
Yes, we all know that the best thing to do in those situations is to take a breather and walk away. 

But the things I take away from the course are the following:

1. Behaviour is driven by emotional needs which may be categorized into 5 groups: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. SCARF. In essence, people react badly when their status is threatened, or their sense of certainty is shaken, etc. Understanding someone's emotional driving need is essential in understanding why a person is behaving the way he/she does. And understanding your own driving need in these situations allow you to take a step back and accept that the intention might not have been to threaten you, although the impact might not reflect that intention.

2. There are early warning signs to 'emotional hijacking' and you could potentially stop yourself from being overwhelmed by your emotions and letting the situation slip away from control. The key is to recognize the default behaviour you have when the other person triggers negative reactions from you and to consciously take a mental break and reset before resuming the interaction.

3. There is a rule of 6 (or any other number you like) which could help you calm yourself down. It is to ask yourself if whatever is bothering you would matter in 6 secs? (chances are, it still would!) in 6 minutes? (Maybe not by then, although if it's big I might still be upset) in 6 hours? (Probably not if I have had a meal and ice-cream or something in these 6 hours) in 6 days? (Who can even remember what they did 6 days ago?!?!!?)....the rest really only proves the fact that most things are petty and we can easily get over it, although our emotions might not agree at that particular moment in time.

4. While self analyzing to find out the reason why I get so pissed off by some people at work, these are the things that irritate me the most:
- when people do not let others finish their sentences;
- when people do not hear my ideas;
- when people waste my time.
So coworkers take note! Don't do the above and we'll work just F.I.N.E together.